I was recently at the Mall of America with the family and these visits offer such good observation times. Watching people, trying to pick up on snippets of their stories, trying to figure out how that person ended up with that other person, things like that are just captivating to me.
First of all, a confession. I don't like crowds. I think God made me tall so I wouldn't get completely claustrophobic when in crowds, but I still get anxious and somewhat irritable. So yes, I know going to the MOA on a Saturday isn't a recipe for relaxation.
That said, and after a scolding to get my head in the game, I decided to focus on the happiness of others and see how that looked. Not good at all, it turns out. I was amazed to find so many people bickering, frustrated, fronting, lonely, or just disengaged. I'll write some of that off to Minnesota winters and SAD, but the rest just comes from something missing. Now I know that you don't go looking for hope at the mall, that joy doesn't necessarily flow out of the place, but even at Disneyworld last December, the happiest place on earth, people had similar frustrations written on their faces.
I really hope that the public displays I see so often are an anomaly, that people are truly happy and that I just happen to catch (all of?) them at their moments of weakness. Perhaps their lives at home are full of joy and sunshine. I'm guessing not. So why is this? I can't say I'm immune to this, even as I write about others, they may see this in me as well. What is and isn't in our control?
Here is my stab at a few things that I, and others, need to keep in mind on our end.
1. Stop caring what other people think. Half of the time I see frustrated parents, they seem more concerned that other people see their kids having a fit than they are that this is a chance to parent and teach. Those disapproving looks stay at the mall, but you take your kids home with you. Has the most recent outing been a win or a loss?
2. Model patience. This is tricky for me. I have a book called "Love as a way of life" and it talks about developing your daily life to exude love. Chapter one is Kindness, I loved it. Chapter two is patience. Who has time for that? Needless to say, the bookmark is still stuck there for me. But, do I want my kids to be impatient? That certainly makes for more difficult plane rides, times in line, or times waiting for mom to meet us in the van to go somewhere... I say this all the time; our kids will turn out to be little versions of us. What are we teaching them to be? Model patience...
3. Smile and treat people nicely. This should be easy. It isn't.
Is life overwhelming? It can be if we try and do it on our own. My two cents? Give up the things you can't control, trust God to have your back, and focus on stewarding, taking care of, the gifts of life and family you've been given. Let's do it right, we've only got one chance at this...
